


letters to my future past lover

by AdhdBarryAllen



Category: Birds of Prey (Comic), Blackhawk (Comics)
Genre: Attempted Historical Accuracy, Character Study, F/F, Love Letters, Women Airforce Service Pilots, Women's Army Corps, World War II, zinda is a lesbian. like always.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 09:57:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15603828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdhdBarryAllen/pseuds/AdhdBarryAllen
Summary: alone and forgotten, there lies fragments of zinda blake's life





	letters to my future past lover

**Author's Note:**

> i originally wrote this for a women's studies project where we followed the life of a fictional woman in history, so of course i wrote about zinda. this takes place throughout zinda's life as she writes letters to penny van camp during the war. penny was featured in like.. one issue of blackhawks and she was zinda's sorority sister and became lady blackhawk for the day. issue 182. she was zinda's first kiss as far as im concerned.  
> so yeah for once i tried to make things as historically accurate as i could?? but know that this isnt meant to glorify ww2 at all. a lot of zinda's opinions have been shaped by the heavy propaganda of the time. if you're interested in more, definitely read up on the women's army corps (WAC) and the women airforce service pilots (WASPS). they were the original badasses!!  
> definitions for zinda's weird slang is provided in the end notes as always.

_December 1941_

Dearest Penny,

Have you heard the news? It’s like the world’s gone hog wild overnight. I went to bed and when I woke up, America was at war. The line to enlist was around the block! I tried to get in line with the men, but they told me this was no place for a honey like me. What a bunch a bastards! Took all my effort not to snap my cap right back. I ain’t some dame who belongs in the kitchen, I got a right to fight with the men just like anyone else.

Went to see my Ma today. You know I haven’t set foot in that house since I left for college, but something in me made me feel like I had to. Visit went kopescetic.. First thing she told me was how I’d missed my chance to find a fella before all the good ones went off to war. I wish she’d give it a rest! I told her, Ma, I don’t need some swabbie chucklehead. I’ve got you, Penny, and that’s more than enough for a gal like me. Maybe she thinks I’ll have another chance when the war is over and all the men come back, like she did with Dad. But we all know how swell that went. Haven’t seen the bastard since… ever.

Gonna check with the recruitment office again tomorrow, see if they got any jobs for hard working gals like me.

Yours,

Zinda

_May 1942_

Penny,

Those no good bastards have finally done it! I signed up with the Women’s Army Corps today. I know they ain’t gonna let women fight with the men, but I’m sick and tired of sitting by the radio at night, waiting for the news. I want — no, I _need_ to help. Even if all they’ve got for me is sewing uniforms like some common house woman. While I was waiting to enlist, I met the nicest woman, Dinah Drake. She said her husband was a detective before he went off to war. She runs a flower shop, Penny! It’s amazing what women can do when men ain’t trying to stop ‘em. Told her I’d have to stop by sometime and pick up some violets for my gal Penny — I know they’re your favorite. After we’d signed out names on the dotted line, Dinah and me thought we ought to celebrate. We went out with two other women we’d met, Sandy and Barda, and drunk ourselves stupid! I wish you’d been there. I ain’t had that much fun in a _long_ time.

Your army girl,

Zinda

_August 1943_

Darling Penny,

You know I ain’t never been one to believe in God, but just the other day they announced the Women Airforce Service Corps and I’m convinced that if there is a God, she’s been listening. I’m just so sick and tired of the sewing and all that other baloney the WAC’s have us do the for good old army fellas. I swear, one of ‘em tried to sneak a peek at my unmentionables when I was out there playing nurse! I wanna be _fighting_ , not playing house. I’ve never told you this, but when I was eighteen, I used half my savings to get myself a pilot’s license.. I never knew my daddy, but Ma always told me these stories about how much he loved flyin’ in that plane of his. More than he loved me and her, I suppose. But when I’m up in the air, Penny I swear I can feel him with me. It’s the only time I can understand what made him love this so much.

I asked the girls to come be WASPs with me, but only Barda knows how to fly. I heard they ain’t so keen on taking on gals who can’t fly a plane. I’m sure gonna miss Dinah and Sandy, almost as much as I miss you. They said they’d write. It’s just like the radio says, we’ve all got a part to play in this war. The news says we’re winning, but I can see the toll the war takes on the women around me. They’re all so brave. I don’t know how I would manage if the person I loved was off fighting halfway across the world. Don’t know if I could deal if it was you out there.

Zinda

_September 1943_

Penny,

Training with the WASPs is the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, but I know I’m stronger for it. They’ve had us doing pushups for breakfast and chinups for lunch for the past couple a months and it sure wasn’t a walk in the park at first but now I bet I could do more chin ups in a minute than one of those army flyboys. I included a photo of Barda and me in our WASP duds from the day we graduated boot camp. Don’t flip your wig, Penny, I know we look _damn_ good.

We deploy tomorrow. I’d tell you I’m not scared, but I never wanna lie to you. Cause the truth is, I’m quaking in my boots. Was this how my dad felt when he flew his first mission? I know my squadron has my back. Barda, Helena, Charlie, Babs, and me. We’ve taken to calling ourselves the Blackhawks. It was a joke at first, but it’s got a real flair, don’t it! I trust them to keep me alive till I can make it back home to you. I carry your picture in my cap. The one from of you when we were in the sorority together — you know the one. Helps me remember who I’m fighting for.

Always yours,

Zinda

_June 1944_

Penny, I was so sure I would die today.

I don’t know what they’re saying back home, but last night we hit the Germans head on. Me an’ the squadron were on air support. You ever heard a bomb drop? It’s the loudest thing you’ll ever hear. Almost as loud as the screaming as we laid down fire on Normandy. Penny, please tell me we’re doing the right thing. They’re telling us that this is fight is crucial. That it could turn the tide of the war. I want to believe them, I really do, I never wanted to hurt anyone, I only wanted to fight for what’s right. I can’t see the faces of the enemy soldiers I’m firing on from the air, but it don’t stop me from imagining them. The Zinda that comes home might not be the same Zinda that left. I remember holding you as you cried into my blouse the morning you saw me off. I remember kissing you at midnight on the New Years Eve we both pretend to forget. You were my first kiss—did I ever tell you that? That version of me feels like she’s being held underwater, far away and nothing can reach her. I tell myself I’m fighting for you, so the war never makes it back home. I never want you to see what I saw today.

Penny, I hope you know I love you. I know it’s wrong to care for you as much as I do, but that’s just the way you make me feel. And if I never make it home, I need you to know. I love you, Penny Van Camp, and I always will.

Yours forever,

Zinda

**Author's Note:**

> the last diary entry is intended to be right before zinda disappears for zero hour  
> zinda dictionary:  
> hog wild - out of control  
> snap your cap - freak out  
> kopescetic - excellent  
> swabbie - navy man  
> chucklehead - a stupid person  
> baloney - nonsense  
> unmentionables - undergarments  
> flip your wig - freak out


End file.
